mystery of 5-star mattresses
In the deluge of the Labor Day Sale ads last week, one of the items that popped up the most often were mattresses. I don’t know if anyone else is subject to the same algorithm as me, but I would have thought that everyone and their mother is in the market for one. Maybe it’s because I spent an inordinate amount of time looking for a perfect, firm mattress several months ago - so much so that I felt confident I could score a job at Wirecutter as the head of their mattress review department.
Before I bore you with my mattress hunting adventure, I’ll give away the morale of the story: sometimes, what matters isn’t how many people give stellar reviews for a product. What really counts is exactly who the hell are the people writing those 5-star reviews?
After realizing that our old-school spring mattress we bought a few years ago may be the culprit for our sore backs, my husband and I started researching online for an upgrade. We thought it was a fairly straight forward process - first, check out the trusty, old Google, then read some reviews, check for any online promotion codes and then click “buy”. So, after these 4-steps, we splurged on an extravagant purchase (with over 2,000 five-star reviews) that we justified by telling ourselves how important our health and sleep were.
After a month of tossing and turning (with our back no better off), my husband and I admitted that we didn’t love this crazy expensive mattress as much as we loved their return policy. Then, we decided to go to the other extreme (taking my brother’s advice) and bought a mattress-in-a-box from Amazon with almost 10,000 raving reviews at a bargain price of $490.
Fast forward another month or so (and now with acute back pains), we had donated our mattress to a good cause and were back to the hunt. So, how can we be so off the mark with these mattresses when practically half the population thought they were better than wonder bread? I’m so used to relying on those star ratings when making any online purchase, I was mystified.
In the midst of reading through hundreds of online reviews, not to mention watching hours of YouTube videos posted by mattress testers (who knew there was an entire industry around people who bounce on beds all day), I stumbled on a very specific group of people who described themselves as “healthy size XXL” or “proud and plus-size” who write very thorough reviews of their mattress experience and the level of firmness. I then realized that we needed a mattress that was specifically designed for plus-size sleepers. Just so you can imagine for yourself how random this is, I’m 5’9” and weigh 133 lbs. And my husband is just as non-plus size as me. And when I asked an “expert” at our local mattress showroom, he looked at me like I was an idiot for not knowing this open secret that we should be going after a firm mattress made for plus size people.
So, who the hell are all the thousands of people writing these glorious reviews for a “firm” mattress that felt to us like we were sleeping on a giant marshmallow? It’s really hard to believe that we are simply outliers who can’t sleep in a typical “luxury firm” mattress without breaking our backs. I’m mystified by this. Can anyone enlighten me?
All I can tell you is that my husband and I love love LOVE our new bed (the “Plus - Heavier People” model). Go figure.
For my virtual Dream Box this week:
🌿 Ginseng. For your hair. If you prefer licorice and bitter taste to saccharine sweet, this shampoo and conditioner set may be for you. I generally love the herbal, Chinese cabinet smell and taste. So this is perfect for me and my hair feels amazing. My mom tells me this has been a popular product for decades in Korea. And of course it took me over 40 years to discover them in Costco of all places.
📚 Boom. A fascinating history of the rise of contemporary art. Who knew Jasper Johns and Robert Rauschenberg were an item? And, how refreshing to learn that, way before Gagosian came on the scene, there were rockstar female dealers who pioneered the crazy deal-making in this hyped-up market.
👖 Super Skinny. This is my fall/winter/spring staple. I have these high waisted, super stretch skinny jeans in all shades and just rotate them throughout the year. I have tried everything from super-expensive, designer label to Old Navy clearance, but nothing fits as perfectly as these.
🧽 Sponge Bob. I mean, sponge cloths. I love the simple design as much as I love the website. They’re made from plant fibers and will decompose within 6 weeks. What’s not to love?
💰 Fake Heiress. A podcast about the rise and fall of the wanna be heiress, Anna Delvey. It’s not as outrageous as Elizabeth Holmes of the Theranos infamy, but just as delusional and shady.