Ode to TJ Maxx
Have you read the book, Crying in H Mart? I think I recommended this book before, even though I have never read it. It’s a memoir written by an indie rockstar about growing up Korean-American and losing her mom. This part about losing her Korean mom is why I haven’t read it yet, even though I can completely relate to how one (especially if you’re in any way Korean) can claim an emotional ownership in H Mart.
I find it uniquely American that many of us have some sort of an emotional reference to a national chain or another, be it fast food restaurants, or discount clothing stores. That honor for me goes to TJ Maxx/Marshalls (did you know that they’re owned by the same parent company?).
I have a dear friend, Julia, whose daughter and my son both have a rare disease. We used to travel from New York to California (and in between) chasing hope and seeking miracles for our kids. In the midst of all the random Airbnb’s we rented during our travels, one thing that was constant was that there was always either a TJ Maxx or a Marshalls nearby. It became somewhat of a tradition for us to sneak out to one of these places during our kids’ sleep time to goof around in some hilarious $10 sunglasses or actually find a great bargain outfit. Julia and I acting silly and outdoing one another in crazy jumpsuits felt like an innocent moment when we could press pause to our surreal and unprepared life of caring for a child with special needs.
Julia’s daughter passed away earlier this year and my unfathomable mourning for this beautiful child catapulted TJ Maxx into something a lot more special than just a place to hunt for bargain clothes. In the midst of the shirts, pants, skirts and so much more that may all end up in landfill, this ever-so-reliable discount chain store feels like a safe refuge from the incomprehension and sadness of losing a precious being, while also losing a partner in crime as I shuffle along the journey of hope and perseverance for my son.
But, let’s not forget, you can find some damn good deals at these places. And, I’m proud to say that I have a fairly good lay of the land on which particular stores are better than others in many states and neighborhoods. My brother might get upset that I’m spilling this family secret, but Marshalls in the Financial District of New York may be hands down one of the best in the country…though I would venture to say that the TJ Maxx in Marin County in San Francisco can hold its own pretty well.
I guess the thing about these American chains is that they are predictable and we know exactly what we are going to get out of the experience. And, that can be the comfort that we need sometimes, especially if you grew up in a mall culture. Many years ago, I took a rickety old bus ride for 26 hours straight from a small town, north of the Atacama Desert in Chile, to its capitol, Santiago. After this psychedelic trip, the first thing I did when I got out of the bus station was to go straight to McDonalds and buy a Bic Mac Value Meal (extra fries por favor). It was the best meal ever and somehow felt like home away from home. God bless America.
For my virtual Dream Box this week:
🧦 Socks. I hate wearing socks. When the cold weather starts sneaking in, one of the things I dread is wearing socks. So, my way of coping is finding fun pairs to wear to make up for the inevitable reality of winter. Check these out from Target that have the best pattern and color options (for dirt cheap).
🎙️ Dinner for one. I’m embarking on this podcast hosted by a Jamaica-born, Bronx-raised woman, who falls in love with a French boy, marries him and moves to Paris, only to get divorced shortly after. It feels like a guilty peek into an entirely different universe of this woman (whom I wish I was friends with when I lived in Paris) who is trying to navigate a new city and new culture while being newly single. And, it seems that she spends a lot of time cooking and eating while she’s doing the podcast, which I love. I just started on the first episode, so I may regret (or not) on this recommendation, but so far, so really good!
🎁 Jewelry Case. I confess that I have absolutely no need for this, nor do I know anyone who would need/want this. But, I just love the idea of owning a shadow printed, monogrammed jewelry case to travel with, even though the only thing I ever wear are my wedding ring and the occasional necklace.
🥃 Whiskey (Advent Calendar). I know we haven’t even dealt with Halloween, let alone Christmas. But I love advent calendars and as soon as I start needing to put socks on, I start thinking about them. It seems somehow wrong to combine a religious holiday with indulgent drinking, but then, I guess maybe that’s what religious holidays are for? I don’t drink whiskey but I romanticize sitting around our fireplace, sipping some exotic whiskey with my husband, while some fairy godmother reads books to our kids and puts them to bed.