SOS queer eye
For the first time in over 4 years, it’s just me, myself and I at home, ALL ALONE for whopping FIVE hours. No children in sight anywhere. Even my dog and cat are exiled to our garden outside. I feel like I can invent the cure for cancer with this much uninterrupted time on my hands.
I find myself in a funny situation because, as I’m just entering the much-hushed dialogue and angst about the inevitable menopause (did I tell you I’m turning 50 next year?), I’m also stepping into this newly found freedom that much younger mothers, maybe in their 30s, are experiencing with more me-time and with their body recovering from pregnancy and childbirth.
It is weird, but yet somehow really lovely to be almost 50 years old with a 3-year old child. Not being on a well-trodden path and being neither here nor there gives me a liberating sense of crafting my own way forward. In an inexplicable way, it feels like being Benjamin Button, except there was some sort of malfunction and I got stuck half way between getting old and getting young.
I’m not having any sort of midlife crisis in a mental or emotional way. I feel pretty steady and stable in that department. Actually, delirious with joy at the realization that I now have 5 uninterrupted hours to work and do my own thing. Where I’m stuck is, what and how to wear (yes, it’s a totally superficial worry, so go ahead and judge me). It’s not the I don’t fit into anything kind of dilemma. It’s just that I don’t know what to make sense of today’s fashion and how to incorporate any of that (if at all) into my own sense of style.
Am I doing high-waisted, wide-leg jeans or am I continuing on my skinny jeans crusade? Am I doing my usual, crewneck t-shirts all year around or should I live a little? Am I channeling Laura Ashley and donning flowery dresses? How did I figure this out before and why is this happening to me now? Am I the only one in this predicament of not knowing how to dress these days?
What would Benjamin Button do? Share your joy and pain please.
ps. For those of you with good memory and are wondering how my “getting high” mission turned out, well….it hasn’t happened yet. Pathetically, because I just haven’t figured out when to do this. I’m with the kids until about 8 or 9 pm, 7 days a week, and then I work until about 12 or 1 am. Weekends are even crazier with kids’ activities. So, can anyone please tell me when they find the time to get high? Help…my caramels and other edibles are getting musty in my shoe closet….
For my virtual Dream Box this week:
🏅 Vuori: I recently got back into pilates, which gave me a perfect excuse to update my workout clothes (the last pair of leggings I purchased were around 2010). I love this brand, not only for its functionality but also its subtle branding. Not to sound like a grandma, but when did exercise clothes start resembling outfits I used to wear to go clubbing?
🌹 Damascan Rose Facial Treatment: I got a bunch of sample of this stuff and I was skeptical of the sales lady hyperventilating about its virtues. But, the hype is real. It makes my skin look fresh and dewy, even forgiving my extreme sun exposure from our summer visit to my in-laws in southern Spain. Amen.
🎨 Stephen Wiltshire: Have you seen this guy draw cityscapes entirely from memory after seeing it just once? This British artist is autistic savant and his artwork is incomprehensibly beautiful and mesmerizing. I’m in awe of human brain and its complexity.
💘 Mr. Rogers: What do you do with the mad you feel? Watch Mr. Rogers “win” $20 million just by speaking with humility and intention back in 1969. Just a reminder for our humanity (and to speak slowly).