what would you do if you knew you would fail?
When I was running Own Your Wonder in DC, our January was always overbooked with women scheduling our very popular makeup and headshot package. Armed with up-to-date photos, some were determined to look for a new job. Some were determined to start their own business. Some just needed to refresh their career. And, others were (back) on the online dating scene. It was one of the busiest times for OYW.
As someone who zigzagged from one profession to another for the last 20+ years with no particular goals or plans, I wondered, what pushes these women to take a leap to look for a new job/career/partner. Was it a new year’s resolution? A vision board? A life coach? Or just a simple necessity?
One of the most common questions that people serve up in an attempt to resolve a life indecision or dissatisfaction is: what would you do if you could do anything in the world?
As someone with a lifelong phobia of commitments in the way of jobs and careers, I always found this question unhelpful at best because my inability to commit came from having too many options to start out with.
I recently heard a question posed in a podcast that I thought was a much better alternative to the earlier, over-indulgent question: WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU KNEW YOU WOULD FAIL? At the risk of misinterpreting Seth Godin here, I took this question to mean, do what is truly meaningful to you, so that even if you fail, it’s still worth it.
It sounds almost too simple and easy at a first glance. It also seems so vague and cliche. So, I’ve been mulling this question in my head for sometime, trying to dissect it into concrete nuggets of digestible ideas, which goes something like:
A) in order to find this “meaning”, you have to actually look for it 💡 ⇒ B) in order to look for meaning, you have to be intentional in your thoughts and actions ⇒ C) in being intentional, you have to first imagine a life that is meaningful to you on your own terms. So, I think it’s roughly something like intention + imagination = meaning?
But, who has time to be intentional, especially these days? Certainly not me - I’m busy barely getting 2 out of 10 things done on my to-do list everyday. And how many of us even allow ourselves to imagine a life that is independent of any convention or expectations imposed on us or that are outside our safe zone?
Having lived a relatively comfortable and secure life, I wasn’t particularly compelled to use my imagination to create a life ahead of me. All I’ve had to do was just keep taking advantage of whatever opportunities were thrown at me without discerning or questioning them. It’s like that original Super Mario Brothers game of the 80s, where you are mindlessly running and jumping in a straight line, exterminating random creatures creeping out of sewer pipes.
What if we took a step back and imagined creating a life centered around our values, dreams and priorities? We are surrounded by people who show us the beauty (and hardship) of approaching life this way. The obvious example is immigrants and refugees who risk their life, livelihood and dignity because they imagine a better one elsewhere, for themselves and their family. Angela Duckworth calls it perseverance, effort, passion, grit, etc in her popular book, Grit, but I call it imagination, the first step of imagining a life as you want it.
Three bricklayers are asked: “What are you doing?” The first says, “I am laying bricks.” The second says, “I am building a church.” And the third says, “I am building the house of God.” The first bricklayer has a job. The second has a career. The third has a calling.
I don’t think the idea of doing something meaningful has to be lofty or revolutionary, nor does it need much of an explanation or have a greater purpose. It’s whatever you make of it. I love what the artist, Christo said of his work with Jeanne-Claude:
We make beautiful things, unbelievably useless, totally unnecessary.
I AM WHO I AM AND I HAVE THE NEED TO BE.
Thank you so much for sharing your six-word plan for getting sh*t done in 2021 and inspiring me. Mine is: TAKE MATTERS INTO MY OWN HANDS.
It took a lot of courage and a couple of strong drinks for me start this newsletter last year. Thanks to your amazing support and encouragement, I’m feeling slightly braver since the first one came out last fall and I’m ready to share my writing with more people. So, if you have enjoyed the WhiteTable, please help spread the joy by sharing it with two of your friends!